“It’s said goths have the lowest life satisfaction levels of any subculture with the exception of traffic wardens. That’s why you don’t see any goth traffic wardens. That would be a deadly combination.”
Yes, I’m quoting/ripping of the IT Crown and their Goth2Boss promotional video. The reality is most goths are rather cheerful, good natured and loveable folk. They may dress in black, avoid sun light and love the Crow (plus hate my predictable, lazy generalisations, at least I didn’t mention The Cure) but can be surprising difficult to buy for without googling “Nightmare Before Christmas Gifts”
Here’s Gift Shop Hub’s hopefully cliche avoiding gothic gift ideas:
5Black As Your Soul & Blood Bath Bombs
To match the darkness of your soul comes this none more blacker bath bomb. A white towel bothering, gothic fantasy, you can drift away in your own little piece of dead sea. Available from Bella Muerte clothing this pitch black bath bomb exploded recently on Twitter and is always quick to sell out thanks to it’s popularly with the children of the night.
Release your inner Nosferatu and pick up one of their not for the faint hearted Blood Bath bombs too.
4Dearly Departed ULTIMATE FATALLY YOURS Chocolate Box
When you think of romantic imagery, what comes to mind?
Little chubby cupids ready with their bow and arrows?
How about a cute bear ready to claim your heart? (To then later stare at you from the bottom of the bed with it’s beady demon eyes).
How about chocolate skeletons & coffins?
Yes, that was my first suggestion too.
No ghoul could resist the cookie dough skulls, black raspberry scarab beetle and blood red velvet roses treats. Each chocolate has been laid to rest into a custom made black heart tray box.
Here’s their description of their current goodies:
“Treats coffin plaque, tear catchers to mourn the empty box upon consuming, and don’t faint when you see their morbid deliciousness, a fan memorial will help you keepsake your beloved box of chocolates. When they are gone, they will not be forgotten”
How wonderful, you must agree. Sure to get any undead heart beating faster and taste buds craving chocolate not veins. The box changes every year and released in very limited numbers for Valentine’s Day so you’ll have to be quick if you want to grab your own from Vegan Treats.
3Framed Tattoo Art
No, not a illustration of your tattoo. Your actual tattoo. First you have to be dead, sorry about that. Save My Ink Forever will then use their unique proprietary process to create an everlasting memorial. If anyone wants to put their name down for my Dr Who ink then please message me and I’ll make sure to run in fear the next time I see you. The tattoo comes framed and some forward planning people have already signed themselves up.
2Stunningly Savage Horror Art
Now for some classy art from Stunningly Savage. Rick Melton is a famed horror oil painter who’s artwork has featured on many magazine covers, dvd boxes and my own walls (I have three of his originals which my Mum just loves). Many a Dark Side Magazine and Arrow Video cover has featured his more tame work with much of it explicit, erotic and exploitive. Mr Melton says “All exploitive art should look like it’s been knocked up at 5am by some wasted bum who once had talent but is now seriously on the slide”.
Not all of it will give your granny a heart attack, his hammer horror artwork is surprising reserved and his Dr. Who 50th Anniversary poster has long been on my most wanted list. His originals often come up for sale for very reasonable prices from the great man himself and he sells prints too. My own “Cyber Punk’ painting featuring a gladiatorial area, two angry T-Rex’s and a slightly naked lady takes pride of place above my fireplace.
1An Unexpected Large Choice Of Edgar Allan Poe Merchandise
When you think of the top earning dead celebrities, many names come to mind: Elvis, Jacko and Monroe. Mr Poe less so. Known for his macabre poetry and short stories he was the first well-know American writer to try and earn a living through writing alone. By all accounts he failed, a sadly common tale, the greats of yesterday often struggled to find the recognition they deserved. A big theme in his writing is the reanimation of the dead and his most famous work “The Raven” has become part of popular culture with many loving parodies. To show your love of all things Poe you can buy socks, zipped pouches, scarves, cookie cutters and even a scary looking soft toy bearing his likeness. Yours to buy at The Literary Gift Company.